Ted was born in a back alley, the byproduct of a failed abortion. Dr. A.O.K. found Ted barely alive, and took him to his clinic where he could be saved. The coat hanger had done its damage though, leaving Ted permanently disfigured for the rest of his life. From that day forward Ted sought to embrace his abhorrent visage, and exact his revenge upon the world by simply existing.

Nearly killed by a botched circumcision, "The Doctor" has spent his entire life shunned by society, and ridiculed by his peers. He now uses his superior intellect, and multiple degrees, to exact his revenge upon the world. With a vast army of undead eunuchs under his command, and a crew of misfit allies and henchmen, "The Doctor" plans to leave no survivors.

Serving as Dr. A.O.K.'s right hand henchman, Spider Hands has been tasked with creating The Doctor's army of undead eunuchs. He spends his days removing genitals from dead bodies and storing them in his trusty cooler, which never leaves his side. Sometimes he experiments on the bodies by adding extra appendages just to see what happens. It's a hands on job, which he takes very seriously.

A massive tank designed for one purpose - to kill humanity. EATR fuels itself by consuming organic material. The more it kills, the more fuel it has to live. Armed with various kill mechanisms, it uses its crane arm to hoist the dead bodies of its victims from the battlefield directly into its hopper, grinding them into the fuel it needs to continue its killing spree. Nothing can stop its carnage, as it's powered with the brain of the best driver humanity has ever known - Dale Earnhardt.